Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Still Fighting

Today was another positive day for Elaina. Her saturations are continuing to stay in the acceptable range. The arterial line in her right foot stopped working last night, and so the nurse took it out today. That means no more arterial blood gases. The reason that arterial blood gases are so important is that it tells us how much oxygen is in her blood before it's used by her body. We can take a veinous blood gas (from her broviac) but it only tells us how much oxygen is left over after she's done using it. But, a veinous gas is good to let us know how well she's breathing, because we can monitor her CO2 levels. In speaking with Elaina's doctor tonight, we're going to just use the CO2 levels in trying wean her off her ventilator and the nitric. They could do capillary gases, but they would have to poke her every single time they want to find out, and we don't think that it's really worth it when the number would be very similar to the veinous gas anyway. So we're going to trust her pulse oxymeter and hope that she does okay. The doctor has weaned her ventilator down a little bit today but she's still on the nitric and has a ways to go on the vent. I'm getting mixed signals from the doctors at this point. I'm not really sure how to feel about it. They are encouraged by Elaina's progress, but I get the general impression that they still do not think that she will survive this ordeal. I was talking with one of the doctors about "the future" tonight, and she bluntly told me that she honestly hadn't thought about it. Hmph. Well, I think about it!! I am fully aware (painfully aware) that Elaina may not make it through this. BUT, I truly feel that I need to remain positive and continue to have faith in Elaina as well as my Heavenly Father. I am grateful for every moment of every day that I have this precious little soul in my life. I hope and pray that I am allowed to keep her for many days to come!


Amber said...

You are a beautiful and loving mama....I can't imagine hearing thoughts and words like those, you sound strong though....I'm sure she draws from that. I check your blog constantly, it's good to hear the updates. You have a beautiful spirit! hang in there....

Vaeh's Blog said...

Well said, Hollie!! If that doctor were so blunt with me, I think I might have said "well, that's why I put my faith in GOD & not you!" I would love to see the reaction from her on that!!

I just love how positive you stay, even though it is most certainly hard when seeing your little one all hooked up to everything. I agree with Amber - she draws from your strength & she has a wonderful source to draw from!

I am proud to know you & walk through this journey with you! Know that we continue to keep Elaina, you & Ben lifted up in prayer. I'm always checking your blog to see how things are going, so thank you for taking the time to update & let us all know!

You are an inspiration! Please give our love to Elaina!!

Tina & Vaeh:0) (Jon & Gabby, too!)

carolyn q said...

You need to remember that doctor's only "practice" medicine, so they are not all knowing. God is the only one that is all knowing and so I think you are doing a great job in keeping the faith and holding on to the many words that have been repeated to you in many wonderful blessings.
I can only imagine how your heart aches for little Elaina with all
she is going through, but hopefully all the prayers being said on your family's behalf will help give you comfort and peace . . .our's included.

Heart Hugs,

Jake & Stephanie Ellinger said...

I totally agree with Carolyn, these doctors only "practice" medicine. I've had 3-4 therapists at the hospital along with Dr. Downey (the g-tube surgeon) tell me that Nathan would never eat through his mouth. Nathan has suprised us all and is working on eating tiny bites of applesauce. You are Elaina's mother and you know her better than anyone else. Keep up your faith; your story has been very faith promoting to myself and many others. Your family is constantly in our thoughts and prayers. Next week, on Tuesday, I'm going up to meet with the plastic surgeon for Nathan's cleft. If you are still there I'd like to come by and talk to you if you feel up to it. As it gets closer send me a post through the IHH group and let me know.

Djinni said...

I agree with many of the other comments and thoughts of many faithful friends and family, that the doctors mostly seem to go with the science portion of their belief. The scriptures tell us that science will never prove faith in God. Anyway, I never had such exteremes as your experiencing, however doctors were always more on the side of science with Isaac and didn't want to ever give us a prognosis or anything simular to that. Isaac has had many Miracles, too many to count. One of the huge ones was when he had bleeding on the brain before he was born, Lauren prayed with so-o much faith asking for it to drain, and we had faith in those prayers too, that it happened. Keep up the faith, you are strong. I will continue to pray and check on you often. Djinni

Gourley Family said...

It was so great to finally meet you and sweet Elaina-bug! She is adorable and you really are a truly amazing woman. I am sorry the doctors do not get it. They truly have not been there, and although it is hard it sometimes just takes saying, "I am going to ignore what they are saying and just know that the one person who truly understands, knows my thoughts and feelings, and understands the timing of everything." I know that if it were Heavenly Father's plan to have Elaina back with him, she would not be here. Timing is everything, and honestly I feel that Heavenly Father would not give her to you had he not been totally convinced that she is in the best care and loving arms. Keep fighting the fight!
Heart hugs and prayers,
Emily and Mike

Megz said...

There are so many of us staying positive with you right now! Prayer and positive thinking, we all have hope for her. Remember turtle steps, what strength she has!

Isabella said...

Continue fighting baby girl. We are praying.


Still praying for little Elaina - I also put a prayer request on my blog for you, Ben, and Elaina. You're doing a great job being there for her and your Faith is getting you through.

Kathy said...

Let me know if you need me to drive up and straighten some people out...urrghh! The lack of hope that some docs and nurses project is so inhumane...if they could remove themselves and try to be empathic...they'd be more careful with their words and hopeful in their care. Please continue to fight..to have hope, faith...Elaina is still fighting...I hope and pray that your main docs are hopeful and are fighting just as hard!

We will continue to pray for you, Elaina, and your family.
Please sleep well (as well as you possibly can under the circumstances)...and thanks for keeping us updated!